when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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