Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
