ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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