she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize