i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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