Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
