I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
