my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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