She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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