I love black thongs
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
