I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
