so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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