You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
