Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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