I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
