In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
