She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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