He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
