Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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