2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize