Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
