Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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