when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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