Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This baby is an asshole
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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