Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize