i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sober January is a disaster.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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