were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
