Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize