i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
