Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
