I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
