yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
