walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
