your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
