Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize