nut hugger
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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