Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Are we still banned from the library?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
