he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
