it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
