you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
