I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
