roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
