love makes seman taste better
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
