Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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