Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your penis caused this!
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