Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
