Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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