Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
