Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
