I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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