K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
handjob tips. give me some.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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