she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
