Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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