p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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