Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
