Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize