Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
