let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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