that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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