is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize