He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
