But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
