just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize