what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
