Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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