Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
